Apologies in advance for a brief blogpost and apologies also for a very long absence. My arm and hand are recovering well - unfortunately they are attached to the rest of me which isn't doing so well. There is much I can't say at present for many and varying reasons some of which are personal - others 'legal'. Suffice to say that since we last spoke my life has gone into freefall. Currently I reside in a homeless hostel for the totally marginalised, hopelessly lost and criminally insane - many are high risk ex-offenders including murderers currently on parole (actually, my best friend there is a murderer on parole - I decided early they are probably the best folks to stay 'on side' with). To say life is difficult at present would be the understatement of my life.
I've been lucky - My wife has been a tower of strength and were it not for her providing me with a mobile phone and lap top and a mountain of emotional support then even this conversation would be impossible (the State Library is 5 minutes from the hostel and has free wi-fi). I have a 9pm curfew but am free to do as I wish prior to then but with little money, few clothes, a dodgy arm and legal prohibitions on returning home there's not much I can do other than sit in the hostel watching for the latest psychopathic arrival - and hope they don't let him play with scissors. I've never been in a situation like this in my life and whilst it's emotionally distressing and in its own way frightening - it's also fascinating - a bit like watching a train wreck. When I turn my eyes from 'them' however and focus on myself guess what? It's another train wreck. So many train wrecks in Brisbane.
Anyway, I'm alive and with my sanity almost intact. Two weeks ago to try and raise some money I started selling the Big Issue (seriously I have) - I've kept a copy which will be framed when this is all over. It seems somehow fitting that it was a 'Titanic' Special Edition.
I'm being treated for a double dose of Post Traumatic Stress currently, so in between having to deal with the very real dangers of being where I am - I'm also (to borrow a phrase from my psychologists and psychiatrist) 'deconstructing' myself - another emotionally distressing process. Never a dull moment eh?
I have no idea who knows I have this blog within my current social circles so I'm not sure who will pay it attention - but I must say this - There are people out there who put their own personal safety at risk by visiting the hostel where I now reside. They are responsible for some of the most uplifting things I have ever seen. At Easter they provided us with Easter eggs, they give us clothes, coffee and I was even gifted a guitar by one of them so that I could busk and make some money but my arm isn't quite up to doing that regularly yet. So to everyone from that particular 'Mission' I'd like to say thank you, and I'm sure it's not only from me - but from everyone there. Although many won't say it to you - you are deeply appreciated.
I stand out like a sore thumb in this place - no tattoo's, I don't have an alcohol problem and I don't do drugs. So now I'm off to get a tattoo, drink some metho and run rampant on Red Bull - I'm hoping I'll fit in better afterwards.
I will update you all when I can. And to my wife - I love you darlin' - I wouldn't be alive now if it weren't for you, you've been quite simply magnificent and I'll love you to the ends of the earth.