Monday, 12 September 2011

And I'm not lost in space either!

At last! I can make a post! Apologies everyone, I've been laid low with a chest infection and just to make matters worse I think my left arm and hand are in the process of falling off. I've never seen the necessity for mentioning it before but I suffer from chronic emphysema so whenever I get a chest infection - it could prove to be my last week on the planet. It all gets taken pretty seriously and so I've been seeing more of my bedroom ceiling than I have of the outside world this last week or so.

You remember that god-awful speech to text software that I have been using periodically? Well it's back again of necessity. I spent this entire weekend teaching this darned thing that a Scottish accent is not a disability. From now on, unfortunately, it will be necessary to use speech to text for all my posts and for making comments too.

I apologise in advance if it transpires that there is in fact a word it just doesn't understand and I insult anyone when praise was my objective. Unless of course you are a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, in which case I deliberately set out to insult you.

There really hasn't been much happening of late, but a few things caught my attention and are deserving of a wider audience and recognition. I've been so spaced out on painkillers that I can't recall whether I saw this on TV or on YouTube or read it somewhere on the Internet-but as a matter of urgency if you know anyone unfortunate enough to be in a coma (and yes there is a wee bit of self-interest and self-preservation here) don't give up on them yet. I saw something, somewhere, I swear I did, about people recovering from a coma after they have been given a sleeping pill. No, I haven't gone mad, from my recollection, a patient was inadvertently given a sleeping pill and it revived him from the coma he had been in for a number of years. As a consequence it was tried out on others with stunning results.

Now should I be unfortunate enough to find myself in a similar situation please note:
Give me sleeping pills! If that fails and it's decided that I am in actual fact dead, please ensure I have a mobile phone with at least $30 credit in it before burying me.

Just wanted to get all that out there before it's too late.

I have a massive amount of catching up to do with other people's blogs and the kind e-mails enquiring after my health; so without further ado and more funded by greed, no I said off on the bed read, nor their begging read, their begging read, the deck of 50 know I said FAQ hit- Damn it was all going so well.

Crawley, no I said Rory.



  1. I was wondering about your Rory. Sorry to hear about your chest and arm. Try and get better. Hasn't hear about the sleeping pill thing. I'll look it up and see what comes back. You never know when it might come in handy!

  2. Me too! Wondering about you, I mean. Sounds dire! Your situation, I mean. Should try to get this comment more coherent maybe. Not much to say other than please survive for a long time and keep writing. Love, Alec xx

  3. Your silence had me concerned! I do hope your chest infection is on the mend. One word, mate; olive leaf extract! That stuff saved our skin when all else failed. Took 10 weeks before it kicked in, but it was so worth the wait! The lurgy that is circulating right now is a shocker; pit bull flu, I call it! Once it has a hold, it doesn't seem to wanna let up. Take care, mate, and Godspeed to ya!

  4. well glad you are alive ( albeit hanging on my your finger nails)
    life sure gets in the wayt of blogging sometimes eh?

  5. So glad to hear your "blogging voice" again, even if it does get muddied at times by the speech to text conversion.
    How do you get a person in a coma to take a sleeping pill or any other kind of pill for that matter?
    Take care Rory and don't overdo. I'm off to the 'net to see if I can find the info on sleeping pills and comas.

  6. Glad tae hear from you....all the best mate.

  7. Aw, Rory. So sorry to hear you've been sick. I'd been hoping you were in getting your arm fixed! But glad to hear you're better. No worries here, I'm incapable of understanding English anymore anyway. It's entirely by intuition from now on. ;)

  8. Did I really write "hasn't hear" instead of "hadn't heard"?! Note to self, less wine and more spell check. Sorry!

  9. I thought you might be in the hospital having your arm operated on. I am so sorry to hear of your illness.

    Keep working with that program, as most of us will be able to figure out what it is interpreting. If not, we can make up our own story.

  10. Ah, you poor thing! Glad you're back!!

    There's a youtube video out ( there regarding the Scottish accent. Have you seen it? It's a comedy skit entitled "ELEVEN" about a voice-activated elevator...


  11. Glad to heear you are oaky. I was hoping you were absorbed finding new bad album covers to pick up my challenge to you....


    I agree Westbro Babtist Church... YUCK

  13. Like everyone else, I missed you, and thought you were maybe getting that arm of yours tended to. Sorry to hear you've been stuck in bed staring at the ceiling. No fun at all. Hope you're well on the mend now.

  14. Best wishes for a speedy recovery.
    You know, you could also request a string tied around your finger and a bell at the other end, as they did in Victorian days. Just in case there's no cell reception six feet under.

  15. Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I'm back at my desk this morning and raring to go. Sleeping pills and korma (coma) - I think it was judged that a coma patient was in distress and so a sedative was placed inside a drip which caused them to wake up. I realise now I watched a documentary here in Australia about someone who is in a permanent vegetative state but when given this same sedative they spring to life and communicates coherently with their partner. The effect only lasts for an hour or so but the joy it brings everyone is intensely moving. It can only be done once a day due to the potency of the sedative.

    As someone has mentioned daggy Almon cars (Album covers) I'm off to look for some more this morning!

    Cooley no not Cooley - Rory

  16. I've been off in the land of nod, Rory, otherwise I'd have been here much sooner. Glad you are alive... sorry things have been so sucky. The speech-to-text is handling your dis... Scottish accent much better! Well done. And you still manage to be a funny burger despite it all. What a marvel.