Saturday, 21 May 2011

From The Mouths of Babes

I adore my step-kids - each in their own way holds unique qualities. I want to dwell in this blogpost however, on the surreal expressions uttered by my 'otherworldly', recently turned 11 year old step daughter - Maddy. Even the simplest exchange can leave me scurrying to find the hidden meanings or deep reflections in her throwaway replies...

Walking to school tends to bring the most cryptic of them out in her...
Me - 'Ah Maddy, there's that wee tree I really like, it's blossoming.'
Maddy - 'Don't say 'wee' in Australia Rory. People will hate you'
Me - 'Oh really? Ok. But why?'
Maddy - 'They just will. Trust me.'

Maddy - 'There's a new boy in our class. Quite literally his name is Jerod'
Me - 'But everyone's name is quite literal.'
Maddy - 'Yeah but I mean quite literally his name is Jerod'
Me - 'Yes, as it should be.'
I got a 'How dumb are you?' look, and a shake of the head, 
What didn't I understand???

We were standing on the porch watching the night sky when I asked her 'Do you see any UFO's Maddy?'
'Yes. Come inside quick!'
'But then I won't see the UFO.'
'But if you stay here Rory you'll be adopted by aliens!'

Maddy - 'Rory I have a lump on my foot. What is it?'
I take a look and say - 'Oh it's a wee callous from your new shoes irritating the skin'
Maddy ponders this for a second or two - 'So it's not radiation then?'

Maddy - 'Hey Rory I discovered today that I can tell what people are thinking by looking at their eyes'
Me - 'Really? Okay. I'm thinking of a fruit. Which fruit is it?'
Maddy - 'Hmmm not sure. Sometimes I get writers block'
Me - 'No way. C'mon - that's a cop out. Look at my eyes and tell me what fruit I am thinking of. You said you can do it.'
Maddy - 'You're thinking of a Passionfruit'
Me - 'I don't even know what a Passionfruit looks like'
Maddy - 'Ah well that's why I couldn't get it - if you don't know what it looks like - it means you're a freak'

Me - 'Do you have any homework from school today Maddy?'
Maddy pulls out her notebook, 'Yeah. I need help though - what's ten divided by Friday?'

She'd been appearing very tired every morning and I suspected she was getting up through the night and going onto the internet - so I thought I'd check her browser history to see if this was so. It showed activity around midnight - Google had the following search terms she'd put in;
12:03 Piano Music
12:05 Relaxing Piano Music
12:09 I SAID RELAXING Piano Music

After discussing the idea of traveling to Scotland;
Maddy - 'Would I be able to understand anyone in Scotland?'
Me - 'Well you understand me don't you?'
Maddy - 'Yeah but we've taught you Australian.'

Walking to School;
Maddy - 'One of my shoes is too tight. But I'm not sure which one.'

She was playing recorder in the back of the car on our way home from a trip somewhere. It sounded awful...
Maddy - 'I think this recorder has gone out of tune.'
Me - 'Wonder why it's called a recorder? It doesn't record anything.'
Maddy - 'Duh silly! It's called a recorder because it has holes in it.'

Maddy - 'I need a lucky charm. I've never had one. I need to get a lucky charm.'
Me - 'But you already have one - Me!'
Maddy - 'No Good. You're old and all your luck will have been used up.'

There's so many more - but my Black Lab is looking up at me with crossed legs - Dogs need out.

Back later :)


  1. Wonderful moments! Thanks for sharing them.

  2. Well hello there, Rory :)

    I just noticed you're my newest 'follower'. And after reading only this one post, I must say I like you already (and not just because I don't get new followers very often :D) That first little anectdote about not saying 'wee' was classic. I can tell Maddy is VERY smart (because it takes one to know one, of course).

    Ah, stepchildren. I have two. One is 25, and the other is nearly 15. I've been around since they were 18 and 8. Having no children of my own, being a stepmum was really difficult for me to get used to at first. I still find it awkward.

    The younger one has Asperger's Syndrome, so she's really smart and really weird. But awesome. And the older one...let's just say we both get a kick out of the look on people's face when she tells people I'm her stepmum, because we're practically the same age ;) It's nice though, because being only 5 years apart, we're really good friends. Which is lucky, because it could have gone the other way and she really might have hated me. A lot.

    Anyway, nice to meet you. I look forward to more posts :D


  3. Thank you Cindy - and Thank you Kyna. My Step-children (3 girls although one has grown up and moved on - and 1 step-son) have been superb not only towards me but for me.

    Maddy never fails to amaze me with the way she thinks. She just 'sees' things differently lol - it's hard to explain.

    I know what you mean about things potentially having gone the 'other way' with your own step-children. It's a fine line until you manage to win them over and even though I'm confident I've done that in the five years I've been in Australia with them - I try never to be complacent. You have made a remarkable achievement there Kyna - and of course it means your step-children have too.

    I enjoyed reading both your blogs (yes I do read them - I don't just collect people!) - Being relatively new to this however I'm not quite sure of all the internet etiquette etc - not sure if I'm supposed to reply on your blog or here or what lol?

    But the mere fact you dropped in here to leave a message has really brightened my day - thank you both. Unfortunately I'm pretty slow at responding as I still only have one working arm and hand until I have surgery on the other. So please never feel I'm ignoring you if I'm slow to reply, post or whatever - Sometimes I just can't physically do it.

    Thanks again to you both! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts soon!


  4. You've got the ettiquette right :) If you were replying to something your readers have posted on your page, you'd do it here. And don't feel obligated to reply to our replies (because of course I speak for the entire global blogging community), if your arm is being extra gimpy on a particular day. Or even if you just don't feel like it. Many people don't.

    Although I do enjoy replies to a reply, if you ARE feeling up to it. :)

    (I don't think I've ever said 'reply' so much in one comment.)

  5. OMG I like Maddy so much, and, after reading this post, I like you too. You have just collected an "old fart" follower.
    Thanks for dropping in on thefeatherednest.

  6. mybabyjohn - thank you - you are very kind. These days you're only as old as you appear in a profile picture lol.

    I really enjoyed thefeatherednest - in fact I found some really terrific blogs over the weekend! Will be reading as much as you can post!