Saturday, 4 June 2011

When Kindness can be Crushing

Ok, so I'm 51 - but I think I wear it well, or at least until this morning I did. I don't have a beer belly, I'm slim, and with the exception of my robocop arm - all the bits connecting me are mine. My wife took some promo pics of me two years ago and this is how I was then (given that two years is not really a long time) only inclination towards vanity is that I dye my hair - (For some reason my hair turned silver from dark brown when I was only 25)...

Anyway - Due to the situation with my Mum, I've barely left the phone alone but this morning I had to go out for twenty minutes or so. 

Now, I need a haircut - I know I do, I haven't shaved at all through all the sleepless nights recently, my hair is shiny silver again, and horror of horrors I sat on my specs the other day buckling the frame, I also broke a lens and now my specs look 'squint' when they are on my face...However..nothing, absolutely nothing prepared me for what happened in that brief twenty minute interlude from sitting by the phone today...

My wife dropped me at Woolworth's as we needed coffee, milk and dog food. Promising to pick me up on the way back she then raced off to pick up our daughter from work. For some reason they were late. I stood in Woolworth's car park clutching my shopping - just 'looking around' to see if I could see our car appearing from any one of three possible directions.

A woman who appeared to be about 40+ pulled her car over and parked beside where I stood - she got out of the car and said;
"Do you need help crossing the car park Sir?"
At first I thought she must be talking to someone else but she came right up beside me and took me by the arm "You need help there sir? You look a little lost and confused. Don't worry, just tell me what it is you want to do..."
Now this was a wonderfully kind gesture but why did it feel like a kick in the genitals?
"No I'm fine...I'm just..." I was so shocked I couldn't find the words...
"Take your time." She said reassuringly
Eventually I came up with "My lift hasn't arrived."
"Oh I see!" She said, before continuing with "So you know where you are?"
"Yes, yes err yes thank you" I stuttered - and off she went.

I sat in the car traumatised all the way home until Tracey reached the top of our driveway. As soon as she applied the handbrake, I raced into the house, up the hall, into the bedroom, into the en-suite and took a good look in the mirror. OMG!

Shave now completed, haircut booked for this weekend, dye already bought and glasses going to the optician Monday.



  1. OMG I almost fell off my chair laughing. Oh the misery of realizing how we look to others. Actually I fully understand. I have been snow white since I was in my early 40's.

  2. What's that old Burns saying, "O wad some power the Giftie gie us, tae see ourselves as others see us"? LMAO! The first time a cop called me "Ma'am", I felt the same way!

  3. LOL mybabyjohn - My hair is a really bizarre colour - it's silver but a shiny silver at that.

    Laura - I'll bet there was a time when it worked in reverse though? When you were in your 20's or maybe even 30's for some people, did you ever get door to door salesmen knocking and when you answered they'd say 'Is your mother at home?'

    I was born looking like I do now lol...


  4. Maybe she thought you were attacked or something? With the broken glasses and gimpy arm? lol

    I have pretty good genetics, my mum got her first gray hair when she was 45. But I've been dyeing my hair since I was 12, so I guess it doesn't matter anyway. I'm going to be one of those 80 year old ladies that still has bright red hair :P My husband has pretty good hair genes too...he's 49 and only has a few strands that are silver. You have to get right up close to his head to see them.

    I would never have guessed you dye your hair, so you're doing a good job! lol :)

  5. That was HILARIOUS!!!

    See, now there would be the prime opportunity for you to have responded with, "Well, the voices in my head tell me I'm okay, ma'am. How are yours?"


  6. That's almost as bad as a woman being asked,"When are you due?" and NOT being pregnant!

    Welcome to my world....

  7. A big LOL to everyone who commented there :) Oh I wish I was young again - I might just post a picture at some stage of what I was like with silver hair. Hair dye is incredible stuff! It really does take ten years off the way I look - now I only appear about 70.