Tuesday 28 June 2011

The Milgram Experiment Revisited...

I like Doctors with a sense of humour. And so it was that I was introduced to Dr Perigrene Arbuthnot yesterday - and his opening shot left me in no doubt I would like this man;
He shook my good hand - "Ah Mr Grant - You're relieved that after all this time someone is finally going to diagnose what's wrong with your arm and hand aren't you?"
"Yes I am."
"You're delighted that after all the waiting you're finally here and you're pleased to see me, pleased to be here"
"Oh you bet."
"Mr Grant, that's now. Thirty minutes from now you'll be wanting to punch my face in. There's no other way to describe what I'm going to do, other than to say I'll be torturing you"

I was ready though. He'd be sticking metal conductors to my hand and fingers before firing increasing amounts of electricity through them, until I reached a point where I could take no more. First up was my little finger. He placed the contacts on and flicked a switch on his desk,
"Oh My God! Oww! Enough!" I yelled.
"I haven't actually started yet Mr Grant - I was switching my computer on."
"Oh. Okay."

In the end I was zapped a frightening number of times - my head and feet didn't quite spontaneously combust, it was still pretty damned hard to take - it was all worth it in the end though. A complete diagnosis was made though the causes remain mysterious. I have crushed my Ulnar nerve and strangely also crushed my Radial nerve - surgery is now the only option before the hand withers away. He insisted this could only be the result of an injury as both nerves are no longer where they should be and are even visible to him just beneath my skin. But I haven't had any such bump, thump or injury that I can recall.

Heading out of his office I was still a little stunned from all the high voltage goings on and the diagnosis - But then I remembered Electro Man and how he developed super powers from a surfeit of electricity. I raised my arm and pointed to a prim little bush in the gardens of the clinic and said to myself 'Fire!' A bolt of silver shot out - nah nothing happened  really. But still - at last, I got some answers!

Me - after the Clinic Yesterday



Rory

7 comments:

  1. Right..well now you know and there is something that can be done. It doesn't sound like a whole lot of fun, but it sounds better than your hand withering away. We can't have that. Has your surgery date been booked?

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  2. Good Morning mybabyjohn - He now sends the results to the hospital surgeon - which he reckoned would take three days at most. It's being marked as 'urgent' as there is a danger the hand will wither if not operated on asap. I'm really hopeful that I'll get a date by this time next week :)

    Of course it means I'll have to start washing up the dishes again but it's a small trade off really :)

    Rory

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  3. Best of luck Rory. Doesn't sound like a pleasant experience but it also sounds as though you simply don't have a choice but to go down this surgery path. It could be worse... it could be the NHS you were waiting for!

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  4. Pleased for you, Rory. Hope everything works out fine and you're back playing the geetar soon :-)

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  5. Did you punch the doctor in the face, then? ;) Or zap his head? I'm glad they can move things along quickly for you... it sounds proper cring-y, mate. Best of luck.

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  6. Ouch!. It is good that they are moving along quickly, that does not often happen here. Best of luck to you.

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  7. Best of luck to you, Rory. Thank goodness for modern medicine, huh?!

    Pearl

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